Step Mom Confessions
Step Mothers Confessions
Dear BM,
From the day one I was so excited that after years of you never getting a chance to know your child you would be given the chance to do so. I was the one sitting there praying all the claims of change would be real…for you and your child. I fought my husband and his family day in and day out because it was the right thing to do. You and your child needed a chance. I wasn’t scared or worried that either of you couldn’t find a way to bond. I knew you just as long as I did your child. I had faith. And in the beginning seeing you smile, cry and laugh with joy over each moment you two got together I was elated. But then you did what everyone said you would do. You stopped again. I watched your child cry in the car because the new mom they had finally got to know stopped showing up. This caused a rift in our friendship. I was angry that you would lie to your child about the reasons for you not showing up. I was even more angry that you would show I had faith in the wrong person going against everyone else’s thoughts on who you were. Then you show up again with court papers. Lies stating alienations, denial and more. I was now hurt and even more angry. But I swallowed my feeling in hopes again you would be the mother to your child that this child was wishing for. Yes your child had me 24/7 but that beautiful child was still dreaming of you being the story book mom they didn’t have from you all these years. And in time it seemed again my faith was not misplaced. On time you were here every visit. I seen smiles again in you and the child. But then you did it again. Month after month I watched your child get angry and sad, lashing out because you didn’t show. Do you know what it feels like watching a child sit on a porch for hours, first excited, then suddenly anxious, and finally depressed and angry? I do! Now years of this back and forth I hear your child talk about how you are NO mother at all. That you are nothing but lies and deception. Ive delt with the teachers calling me in to discuss why your child is now different in all aspects of who they were. They noticed the change when you are in your child’s life and when you again ARE NOT! You want to yell at me saying this is my fault. I’m always here. You are not. I am the one your child is running to asking, “Why does my mom do this to me?” “Why isnt my mom here?” “Why doesn’t my mommy love me enough to pick me up?” I have to swallow all my emotions and lie to this child saying “I DON’T KNOW” When in fact I know exactly why. And when the next court date comes you will walk in and lie again. Forcing me to look your child in the eye and try to cover up the lies you spill about this child’s father and me. I have to pray a judge sees that every day you dont show its me and my husband sitting here trying to console your child. That now my prayers are for you to just be honest. To finally just walk in say I can’t or don’t want to which ever works to make you feel better about the simple truth is you keep abandoning your child. I don’t care about what other people say or think. I just care that this small child is given a chance to be happy again without all the ups and downs that come with you never keeping your promises. That this child doesn’t have to sit here waiting at a door to the point where after time they just don’t bother standing there to begin with. You have walked away for many many months at a time. So just walk away for now and let your child come to you when they are ready. Stop forcing this child through court orders and lies to love you after all the damage you have already done.
SM
Just A Step Parent? 